i had an alexander day yesterday. you know, a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. it was the kind of day that if given the opportunity i would have dropped off the kids and came home and slept for a week. the kind of day where i felt like screaming at the top of my lungs "STOP MAKING NOISE! I NEED QUIET!" which always works, right? fighting fire with fire...ok maybe not. my day was filled with a crying, inconsolable baby and a temper tantrum throwing toddler. the crying and temper tantrums all happened in the middle of a store with quite a few onlookers. it was just one of those days where nothing goes right, you think that you are going to fly off the handle at any moment. when preston finally came home from work, i proceeded to hand off josiah and said that ely was his too. i just needed a break. breaks don't come as easily when there are two little ones who need a mommy.
i finally got a break when the whole family went to bed. i needed some time to just be mindless so i sat in front of the computer. instead of being vacant, i came across something that pulled me out of my funk and made me think, feel and cry.
i have a confession before i start, i am a blog stalker. i love to see glimpses of lives of people that i don't know and to catch up on the lives of people i do. while blog stalking i found a blog of a friend of a friend of a friend (that's how bad my stalking has become!). it tells the story of baby isaac and his family. isaac was born this last tuesday but due to a chromosomal abnormality only lived 16 minutes after birth. they are in the midst of a rainstorm of trails and yet through all the struggles that i can't even imagine they are clinging to jesus. i was humbled by their faith as well as god's grace. how can i complain when i have both my children in my arms and her baby is now in jesus' arms and she will never hold him? i was all of a sudden grateful for the struggles of earlier in the day. this family is holding onto god's faith during the loss of their son and i am here not even thinking of my god and how he is sustaining me through my day. i went on to read some of the comments that the family received and saw how many people isaac's story has reached and i am now one of them. i love my children and can't imagine life without them. i want to learn how to cling to jesus everyday and rest in his peace and grace. maybe then my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days will become wonderful, hopeful, love filled, very peaceful days.
3 comments:
I'm glad that you read her blog. Another good one to read and to keep up with is Angie Smith. Her husband sings in the Christian Band Selah and her words and stories brighten my day when I read them. http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com/
If you ever need even half an hour to just get out let me know! I am a 5 minute drive (with red lights). I have those moments too. It is nice to have even just a small reprieve
I know the feeling! There are many days when I reach my wit's end, and then at night when the kids are in bed, I get a little more perspective. I dread the day when we have the crying and tantrums in a store! Luckily, my wits end moments have always been at home so far.
yeah so powerful and humbling....I just wrote about them yesterday after looking at the pictures of Isaac. I couldn't stop crying and praying for them. last night when Isaac needed to feed and then pooped and then I changed him and then he pooped again I just smiled and thanked God that I get to change his diaper and hold him.
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